It's the final autumn term of university for me. Ever. I'm trying not to dwell too much on the reality of that (god knows what I'll be doing this time next year) but upon reflection, this term has arguably been better than any term I've ever spent at uni. For all those freshers feeling like you're still not settled, this one's for you! (it only gets better, trust me.)
1. I've looked after myself.
I used to think looking after myself was taking an afternoon to do nothing: watch
Nashville, eat chocolate, ignore responsibilities. But most of those things aren't particularly helpful. This year I've learnt that looking after yourself is yes, taking time out, but taking time out to do beneficial things (it's only taken me this long, I know). I cook a good meal most nights and actually enjoy doing so- I've found the love of cooking, hurrah! I haven't seen a ready meal or even a pizza in a long long time, just because the fourty minutes I take out most days to make myself something nourishing is a time I value and enjoy. I take an hour out to put on a face mask, do my nails, pluck my eyebrows: you might say this isn't beneficial, but I know that I'll feel so much more confident and put-together if I do. It's all about finding what you need to feel good (and no one really needs takeaway to feel good)- clean your room, dye your hair, wash your clothes so that you can wear something interesting to brighten your day. Thinking ahead- looking after your current self and your future self- has worked wonders for me.
2. I've been more involved
In all aspects of uni life. Editing a magazine, helping start up a blog society, going to see student theatre productions almost weekly...I finally feel like part of a community, which is something that can be hard to find in a space full of so many people. Honestly, as many times as you've heard it before: it's never ever too late to get involved.
3. My attendance has been so much better
Just going in to uni and being there has made me feel so much more confident about my work. As an English student, whilst seminars are useful, lectures are generally an hour of context that can be learnt via a little internet research from the comfort of your bed. As tempting as it is to do so, being up and out and in that lecture theatre has been nothing but helpful.
4. I've worked out how to work
This. This this this. I never actually knew how I worked best until this term: should I go to the library? Shall I work in the morning or at night? If you honestly don't know how you work best, track how you progress with that piece of coursework over the space of a week. Where were you when you did the most? What time of day was it? Did drink coke or water? Sounds mad, but seriously, find that perfect environment. I now know that I work best when I'm not
trying to work (and I definitely work worst at the library!). I need a supply of good food, juice, perfect quiet
and no expectation to do a certain amount by a certain time. I've done the best and most work when I'm midway through a movie at 9pm- and I don't even realise I've done it til it's done. Embrace the unorthodoxy and don't be afraid if the way you work isn't like everyone else.
5. Because of all this, good things have come to me
Not exactly in a karmic way, but just by putting myself out there and being more healthy and confident I've had more opportunities come my way. It's just logical. I've put more effort into all aspects of life and good things have obviously happened because of it. I've modelled for a makeup line, I've done my first blogging collaboration, I've run a magazine, made new friends and learnt new skills, all in a few months!
On the train up to Nottingham in September I doodled this quote on a post-it. I saw it on Pinterest and honestly couldn't stop thinking about it as I went to start my final year.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear. I found this when cleaning my desk up the other day. I honestly do think fear stops lots of us from doing what we really want to do and living the way we really want to live. I'm not saying I'm not scared of anything (the opposite, actually), but knowing that the things you want can be found if you have a little faith in yourself is extremely important.
These words have been my absolute motto these past few months and it's so sweet to stumble upon on this memo again, knowing that when I scribbled it down I was so so nervous that this term would see me struggle and feel unfulfilled, again- yet the confidence these words gave me encouraged me to change things up a bit and make this the best one yet.
Thanks for reading, xo
